Jacob Have I Loved

Every now and then I stumble across a book that feels as if it was written just for me. My most recent 'enlightenment' is called Jacob Have I Loved. It is a beautiful children's book that tells the story of Sara Louise, a girl who always felt as if she lived in the shadow of her twin. The situation itself is not unique. I think all of us have run across a Caroline (S.L.'s twin) at some point or another in our lives. You know, that person who is beautiful, talented, has the world eating out of the palm of their hand, and seems to know just where their life is going.

What was enlightening about this book was how Sara Louise dealt with her situation. One day after Caroline married her childhood friend and she was taking a very routine route to her life, an old friend sat her down and confronted her on her situation. "What do you want? Caroline knew what she wanted and then when it came along she grabbed it. Don't tell me that you didn't have chances. You don't need chances, I knew that from the first moment I saw you."

Sara Louise then decides to be a doctor and near the end of the book a man looks at her and expresses his confusion as to how she even came to treat their small town. "Here you are a woman who could have anything she wanted and she chose to come here. God in Heaven has prepared you for this since you were born."

I think sometimes we envy people whose roads are straight-forward, black and white. But I think most of us have to realize at some point that our lives are not what we planned. They include mindless wandering, roads that curve and occasionally break. But it's within those questioning days, moments, and years that we find the lives that we've been prepared for since we were born. Those are the days that we build character, courage, and passion.

I guess that's why I named this blog the unwritten pages. For me it symbolizes the moments yet to happen. The moments of possibility, hope, and conviction. So here's to the moments we never expected. :)

Used Books

One day last week I left work and arrived at the train with about twenty minutes to spare. Not wanting to hang around a train platform, I decided to spend a few minutes in a bookshop a stone's throw away from the platform.

If I were ever going to write a screenplay, I would center it around this bookshop. I am not a fan of used books. Quite the opposite actually. Whenever I buy a book I go out of my way to find the prettiest, newest copy of the book that I can. But this place was enchanting.

Maybe I have spent too much time with Heather W. When we were in England together, she would steadfastly find and spend long minutes in used bookstores (I'm sure that there is a better way to put that..Sorry Mrs. Warning, I am broadcasting my ignorance). I never really got it and jokingly told Heather that she had an obsession with old books. She just smiled and shrugged. Now I get it.

When I walked in I was awed by the sheer size of the building. Shelf after shelf of books in every subject imaginable from children's books to politics in India. I wandered like a child lost in a crowd. I was looking for something to catch me but what was really grabbing me was the entire environment. I loved being able to ramble and find any subject I wanted. I loved the homey feel of the old bookshelves. Most of all, as odd as this sounds, I loved the smell of the place. I reminded me of the smell of the Drama Group (a theatre I grew up in)- part sawdust, part individual perfumes, part ancient. I can't truly describe it but I aquaint it with home, safety, and creation.

In my last couple minutes I was in the children section and one book caught my eye: Jacob Have I Loved. It was one of those books that I always said that I'd read someday but never did. So I bought it and tried not to look at the battered cover on the train ride home.

I'll save my newfound love for that book later since this post is already ridiculously long. Suffice it to say that answers come in unexpected places. Sometimes we learn them from places and from people that we never anticipated. Powell's bookshop and Heather W, Thanks for the lesson.

Here We Go! :)

It's official...I have the best friends in the world.

Over the last week or so I have spent moments pondering why on earth I was so lucky as to meet all of them. But I have and that makes me 'the luckiest' (disclaimer: i will quote songs/books as often as possible. This one was Ben Folds-check it out).

I'll never be able to fully comprehend how it all happens. Somehow we meet that one person who can teach us a lesson that we could have never learned from anyone else. I look at my web of friends, past and/or present, and see patience, love, courage, and so many other qualities which I have been so deficient in. Through them, I see life in a more beautiful way, a stronger way.

So as I was pondering whether I should make a blog and what on earth I could even talk about, my friends came to mind. My beautiful, crazy, impulsive, courageous, and intelligent friends. My little moments are filled with them: long talks which make even the stars look dull, giggles that can't seem to stop, and deep understanding and love which transcend the most supreme highs and lows which this world can throw at us.

I have two best friends- Alyssa and Jillian. This weekend Jillian and I made the trek down to Peoria to visit Alyssa. As we were sitting in her boyfriend's house Saturday night, he made AMAZING food, and Jillian and I were trying to convince Alyssa and Zach that Enchanted was worth seeing, I felt so at home. In ten years, we'll probably be doing the same thing: sitting on the couch and just enjoying being with each other. Family. :)

Til I write again- love you all.